Why Meditation Feels Hard at First
Meditation may sound fairly easy on the surface, but we often find that meditation can feel quite hard at first. The mind wanders, we notice pain in the body, or we aren’t quite sure what to do.
The truth is that meditation is rather radical. We spend so much of our time overstimulated, on the go, and active. To sit in silence and solitude with our own minds and experience is a far cry from living our normal everyday lives.
I won’t go into all the ways you might experience difficulties, but know that meditation being hard at first is a normal experience. Over time, it certainly becomes easier as we build the ability to respond to experience. Be patient with yourself and appreciate that you are re-training your mind!
Causes of Difficulties for Beginners
Meditation can feel hard in many different ways, but there are a few causes that tend to come into play. These are common factors that affect all of us, so don’t take it too personally!
Default Network Mode
I wrote about the default mode network more in my post Is It Normal to Think During Meditation?, but here are the basics. When we rest and don’t have a clear task for the brain, the DNM activates. To oversimplify, this system of the brain is responsible for daydreaming and imaginative thinking.
When we sit in meditation, we may notice the mind begin to engage in these narrative thought patterns. It is a function in all of our brains, and can make it hard to meditate at first. We often see it as too much thinking during meditation, but it is actually completely normal.
Habit Energies
Thich Nhat Hanh uses the phrase habit energies to describe the habitual ways we view experience, think, and respond to life. Our habit energies when we first come to meditation are often what we are trying to work on with a meditation practice. We want to respond more gently, be more mindful, and/or have compassion.
If we already had all of these qualities perfected, we probably wouldn’t be trying meditation in the first place! Our habit energies need to be re-trained, and this often means coming face to face with these patterns of behavior and living. Be patient as you try to train your mind in new habits.
Expectations
Even when we try to just be present, we often come to meditation practice with expectations, sometimes erroneous. A good example of this is the myth that we need to clear our minds to meditate. Often, these expectations can cause difficulties in practice. We get stuck on what we “should” be experiencing in our heads, rather than noticing what is actually happening with mindfulness and compassion.
If you find yourself having expectations, you might check out my post What Is Meditation Supposed to Feel Like? The truth is that meditation can be calm and serene, but it also can sometimes be uncomfortable and challenging. We can check in with our expectations and try to let go of them to help support our practice. You can read my post How Long Does Meditation Take to Work? to learn more about the timeline of benefits.
Confusion
A big cause of difficulties in beginner meditators is confusion. It’s an easy problem to have. There are so many different ways to meditate, different practices, and techniques to remember. And even if we are set on a specific practice, we become confused in how to actually practice it.
I’ve written about this a bit in my post Am I Meditating Correctly? It can be hard to know if we’re doing it “right” or what exactly we should be doing. This is one of the reasons many of my students come to me for one-on-one sessions. Confusion or lack of clarity can make meditation quite difficult.
Working with Difficulties
So with the difficulties that may arise early in meditation practice, what do we do? I think specific issues may require specific solutions, but here are a few general ways we can work with this feeling of meditation being hard at first.
Focused Attention
One of the best things we can do as beginners to meditation is cultivate some concentration. Concentrative meditation helps us build the ability to focus our attention and maintain it on an object, such as the breath.
Focused attention supports all aspects of practice. Whether we are doing compassion practice, mindfulness, or walking meditation, a collected mind helps us see more clearly and be more present. It takes consistency (more on this in a moment) and time.
I recommend starting with a breath counting meditation as the most efficient way to build concentration in meditation. In a breath counting meditation, we collect our awareness onto the breath and bring it back any time it wanders. Over time, we cultivate the ability to focus in and out of meditation.
You can read my post Concentration Meditation: Techniques, Common Difficulties, and Tips for Practice for more information on concentration meditation.
Consistency
In my experience, practicing consistently is the absolute best thing we can do to grow our practice. It doesn’t even matter what type of meditation you are doing. Practicing regularly will help you build on the previous day’s practice and see growth much more easily. In fact, consistency is more important in my opinion than meditation length. You can read more in my post How Often Should You Meditate as a Beginner?
I know it can be difficult to practice regularly. Life gets chaotic or we don’t have the time. However, if you can find some routine with your practice, it will truly blossom. You can read my post on starting a daily meditation practice for some tips on how to do this effectively as well as the research surrounding consistency and its benefits.
Reframing Obstacles
Whatever the obstacle you are facing during meditation practice, you can reframe it as an opportunity. Whether it is restlessness, a wandering mind, or a lack of energy, we can actually learn a lot from these experiences. Simply reframing them can go a long way, especially in early practice.
To start, try to just be present and aware of whatever the experience is. Let’s take the example of a wandering mind. Watch where the mind goes, what thoughts arise, and what the overall mental state is. How do you respond to the thoughts that come up? By looking at experience with mindfulness, we have the power to transform our relationship with these difficulties.
Practicing with Guidance
Practicing with guidance has many benefits. We gain clear instructions on how to meditate, avoiding confusion. We also get reminders during our sits of what to do and when to come back to the practice. For beginners, guided meditations are an incredibly valuable tool to help us start the journey.
I have a list here of my favorite meditation podcasts that you can check out, along with a description of each one. You also might try my playlist of 10 minute guided meditations for some good practices to get started. Finally, I have a free 30 day meditation challenge which is a great way to practice with some structure and guidance.
Give Yourself Credit
Finally, give yourself some credit! Meditation is hard, especially at first. Be kind to yourself and recognize the effort and energy you are putting forth. Try bringing some gratitude for yourself to your practice and appreciate what you are doing.
If you are interested in getting started with mindfulness and meditation, I highly recommend checking out my page Mindfulness for Beginners: A Guide to Getting Started with Meditation. You’ll find info about what mindfulness is, common difficulties and questions, and practices to try.
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Matthew Sockolov is a Buddhist meditation teacher who trained at Spirit Rock Meditation Center in Woodacre, California. Completing the Dharma Leader training program in 2017, Matthew was given power to teach in the Insight Meditation tradition by Jack Kornfield, Kittisaro, Thanissara, and others. You can learn more about Matthew here.